Random Updates

You know you have reached a new all time low when telling the truth doesnt make you feel happier and lighter...because suddenly you realize your conscience is morally skewed thanks to all the lies I have told in my life and gotten away with. However, Im going more on the fact that there wasnt much to lie about in the first place so the truth i told were rather insignificant.Odd...admitting this does make me feel a bit lighter...

I kept away after the break up....not a word...but i have chosen a particular date having significant importance and on that date i am going to send a letter to someone...stating all that I have achieved in my time alone...mainly to prov to me that when I said i needed time to figure 'me' out I actually needed the time and I actually made progress. I dont want the hardest decision in my life to have been for nothing.

Its time to take a stand...time to be assertive...time to say 'no' when needed...it is time to remove all that is redundant in my life and all that that causes me sadness or confusion...to discover happiness I need to clear the heap of sadness I have dumped on top of happiness...dig through the mess and find that needle called 'Happiness'.

and keep working towards the directions iv set for myself....

Directions

I started a new blog for a new chapter in my life...The hardest part has been naming the blog...even right now Im not sure of the name...I just believe it will make my car loving friends happy.

The reason I named this blog Directions is because that is what my life needs right now...I need direction...I need an arrow sign that points down the road where I need to go...right now everything is uncertain...everything is unstable and big blur....my future career, my education,my relationship status,my independence...my general path is unclear

I wish I could say i dont know what to do...that would be a lie...I do know what i have to do...but there is just so much to do I dont know where to start...I dont know where to begin the changing..there is just so much to change..what i did do was learn to drive...thats why i chose the name "shifting Gears" because atleast I did that...

So this is my starting point....step 1 - make a list of things I need to start doing

1. Exercise
2. Start studying for GMAT
3. Attend college
4. Study for Law
5. Follow up on wood crafting
6. Do my Job
7.Read the paper and magazines and improve GK

And I will keep adding to this list...

Step 2 - muster up the courage to follow through.

Growing up aint easy...i don't think it was meant to be...Just thought I'd manage it well like i did everything but my relationships when the time came....guess not..

When someone reads the list...it seems so easy..I yet haven't found the words to explain why it isn't easy for me...why im hesitant....honestly its probably because i don't understand it myself...I feel like a coward...i feel incapable and as if i am going to waste my life...somehow...that doesn't motivate me either...for now...the list is enough...